How the Big Questions Saved My Faith

November 24, 2014April 28, 2018 ~ Jessica Sanborn ~ Leave a comment

Somehow, for me, the Questions were a door that ushered me into an experience of God that was real and beautiful and unexplainable--like nothing I had experienced before the Questions. The Questions were like keys springing open locks that had kept my mind from seeing what was real. Once opened, there was no turning back. There is no way to unsee. The Questions forced me to let go of Beliefs to which I had been clinging to like a life preserver. A set of Beliefs are not what save us or give us life. That Life is from God. Not from what I understand about God.

Embrace Your Story

November 17, 2014April 28, 2018 ~ Jessica Sanborn ~ 2 Comments

I am being invited to live the story that I am in, where I am at, right now. Isn't that what life is? An invitation. An invitation to live with eyes, heart, arms, and hands wide open.

As Is

October 23, 2014April 28, 2018 ~ Jessica Sanborn ~ 1 Comment

One of my most profound "God-moments" came at a time when I wasn't in the habit of noticing God's voice. I was in church. Uncomfortable in my huge questions. A stress-ball. Feeling lost and inadequate. All of a sudden, the words of Ani DiFranco's song "As Is" came singing through my mind. And I've got … Continue reading As Is

Mirrors

October 20, 2014April 28, 2018 ~ Jessica Sanborn ~ Leave a comment

The other day, my kindergartner remarked with a smirk: "Mom, there's a boy in my class who calls our friend 'Johna-sin.' That's funny, isn't it?" "Well, how do you say it?" I wondered. "Johna-fin," was his confident reply. I think there is something deep and deeply human going on here. Specks and logs[i] come to … Continue reading Mirrors

Listening to Tears

October 16, 2014April 28, 2018 ~ Jessica Sanborn ~ Leave a comment

Tears have always made me uncomfortable. Especially my own. Signs of weakness or weirdness depending upon the situation. Brush them away. Hold them back. I've hated the feeling of not being in control--of my heart, mind, or emotions. And these sneaky, salty drops escaping from my eyes are tell-tale giveaways. They won't be stopped. This … Continue reading Listening to Tears

On Paying Attention

October 13, 2014April 28, 2018 ~ Jessica Sanborn ~ Leave a comment

Pay attention. We hear it often as children. As adults, we probably need to hear it more than the children do. Children are usually excellent at paying attention; they just tune out what they are not interested in hearing. I wonder if Paying Attention is one of the signs that we are really alive, not … Continue reading On Paying Attention

Relearning Prayer: praying for others

October 2, 2014April 28, 2018 ~ Jessica Sanborn ~ 4 Comments

I'm not the best at prayer. These days I rarely use complete sentences when I pray. Prayer comes out in a word or a phrase. In a stirring from my heart. I'm learning that prayer can be so much more than articulate sentences strung together to adore or make requests known to God. My favorite … Continue reading Relearning Prayer: praying for others

Sacred Empty

September 29, 2014April 28, 2018 ~ Jessica Sanborn ~ 1 Comment

With empty hands and an empty heart I lay myself at your feet, an exhausted, empty heap. Empty of words. Empty of plans. Empty of Amazing or Courage or Daring Doing. And instead of "You should"s And instead of "Why aren't you"s You place your hand gently on my head and whisper Deep into my … Continue reading Sacred Empty

Imperfect Silence

September 25, 2014April 28, 2018 ~ Jessica Sanborn ~ Leave a comment

“The trouble is, as soon as you sit and become quiet, you think, Oh, I forgot this. I should call my friend. Later on I’m going to see him. Your inner life is like a banana tree filled with monkeys jumping up and down.” ~ Henri Nouwen[i] It’s not just me? That makes me so … Continue reading Imperfect Silence

Letting Go of Words

September 22, 2014April 28, 2018 ~ Jessica Sanborn ~ 2 Comments

Have you ever had a life-changing conversation? One where somebody mentions something that hits you in your heart and you are never the same? Just over a year ago, a dear friend mentioned getting away to a cabin for two days of silence and solitude. Something in me opened up at that phrase: silence and … Continue reading Letting Go of Words