"I believe that the most important single thing beyond discipline and creativity is daring to dare." Maya Angelou When I think of daring. I don't usually think of me. But I have been daring lately. Daring to be content. Daring to be happy with me and the life that is mine. Daring to be unapologetic… Continue reading Daring Contentment
Hi. How are you doing? Me? Honestly? I have anxiety in me. My body hasn't felt such a fist in my chest or a jaw this tight since my lawyer days. It doesn't feel great. I have a lot of questions: questions about what is happening in our country; questions about what I can do.… Continue reading This is how I want to be
I've been contending with empty pages for a while now. Empty journal pages—pen poised in my hand for 30 minutes and the page still blank. Empty word documents—cursor blinking and not a word to type. Empty pages sometimes feel like failure. In a few days, I will be staring down another blank page. For the… Continue reading Welcoming Empty Pages and Spacious Places
A little over a week ago, I told my doctor that I was turning 40 on the 2nd. She looked at me confused. "That's not right, is it?" she asked. "My birthday is on the second." "Yeah, but I thought you were only 38, " she replied. "Oh... that's right! 40 comes next year." I… Continue reading I want to sink into what is
We cannot be free if we don't know what's holding us, containing us, or chaining our feet to the ground. We cannot be free if we don't recognize the voices that we mistake for reality. It's easy to mistake the way that we think about things, even the way that we experience things, for the… Continue reading Enough Already
"It was going to be one of Rabbit's busy days. As soon as he woke up he felt important, as if everything depended upon him." -- A.A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner "I'll go and see if there's anything [Christopher Robin] wants doing, and then I'll do it for him. It's just the day… Continue reading Trading Importance for Infinite Worth
You're fired. Both of you. Disappointed God voice and unrelenting critic. You may both go because you are not real, and you are not speaking truth or life. You make me wilt, shrivel up, and hide. Now, maybe a disappointed, angry God can transform your heart and mind and life into something beautiful. You and I may be very different, and that is okay. Shame, fear, and guilt--whether God-induced or critic-induced--don't breathe life into my soul. They might influence my behavior for a while, but shame, guilt, and fear are not transforming me or healing me.
What am I here for today? Sometimes I wake up with that prayer on my heart. It's a prayer I would like to wake up with every day. What am I here for today? This morning, an answer came to me: You are not here to wash the floors, to fold the laundry, or to… Continue reading What am I here for today?
One of my most profound "God-moments" came at a time when I wasn't in the habit of noticing God's voice. I was in church. Uncomfortable in my huge questions. A stress-ball. Feeling lost and inadequate. All of a sudden, the words of Ani DiFranco's song "As Is" came singing through my mind. And I've got… Continue reading As Is
With empty hands and an empty heart I lay myself at your feet, an exhausted, empty heap. Empty of words. Empty of plans. Empty of Amazing or Courage or Daring Doing. And instead of "You should"s And instead of "Why aren't you"s You place your hand gently on my head and whisper Deep into my… Continue reading Sacred Empty