Becoming Who I Am

For today,choose the door

“Discovering vocation does not mean scrambling toward some prize just beyond my reach but accepting the treasure of true self I already possess.” ~Parker Palmer

I was three months into my new stay-at-home-mom life. I had spent years holding onto a lawyer job that didn’t fit. I held onto it much longer than I probably should have, but I really wanted to know what was going to come next before I quit. I wanted to have a plan.

I had recently started asking God questions. My main question was: What have you made me for? I thought I needed an answer before I could take the next step. Instead, my time to quit came without the answers I wanted. This was hard—especially for my pride and addiction to accomplishments.

At that time, my daughter was still young enough to ride in the stroller. One day, we were walking her brothers home from school. They ran ahead of us up the path toward home. Sunlight danced, golden and warm, through my girl’s hair as her head swayed gently. Mesmerized, my heart swelled with the beauty of that simple moment.

The word “vocation” dropped—illuminated—straight into my heart. I collect words sometimes. Maybe they come from God, maybe they just come from somewhere deep inside of me. But they arrive like clues to the next step. I’m learning to trust them.

“What if this is it?” I wondered. In spite of the beauty in that moment, I wasn’t convinced. I thought God had bigger plans for me. At least, I had bigger plans for me—if only I could figure out what those plans were.


I hope that you will join me over at the Mudroom to read the rest of this post about vocation and becoming.

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